Comments on: Why is it difficult to change?

By: Thejesh GN

Thejesh GN — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:53:31 +0000

@Dhanya : Yes, In fact we have had a very deep discussions about many subjects in past. If I digg my old mails I can make many more blog posts like this :) I am sure uncertainty is one of the biggest factor. But I think that shouldn't stop one from changing for good. Right?
@Supriya : We are so stuck, we feel no change as the change :)

By: Dhanya

Dhanya — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:41:28 +0000

First of all, I am really surprised (in a nice way of course) that you guys go through such serious conversations through mail! Interesting…

Getting out of one’s comfort zone is always a lil uncomfy at first — which is the major reason why we’re scared of change. We don’t want to get out of that comfort zone and tread into an unknown land coz what resides there is uncertain and maybe even unreliable. Unreliability is a scary thing isn’t it ?

By: Supriya

Supriya — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 08:37:33 +0000

Well, I think we are scared of change because it has a certain UNCERTAINTY element attached to it. Whenever we are unsure of the outcome, for any task we are scared. So people prefer to stay in their nutshell and comfort zone instead of spending the extra effort to venture into an uncertainty – unless they are pushed, or its mandatory, or by their sequential learning through years gather more probability of success than failure, the daring ones who dont care about results, or people who just want to try their luck at it.

Also, the word CHANGE itself has been played around so much over the years that – even “no change” is considered as a CHANGE by itself :D Also when Change is good for one, may be bad for others and vice versa. So CHANGE or NO CHANGE, there is nothing good or bad – unless what we particularly attribute to it, and its all a perceptive phenomenon. I guess we need to just move ahead in life without worrying much about changes unless they are inevitable (when it requires thought), and try to minimise the BAD changes (changes more widely accepted as bad, and causing harm to a greater number of people than before)

By: Thejesh GN

Thejesh GN — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:58:28 +0000

@nisha : Yes, It makes sense. And I agree the change takes time, specially if it is a significant change.

By: nisha

nisha — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:59:03 +0000

I suppose because we are like an onion, Thej. Like an onion, we have several layers and our core lies in the centre. We do not see our own core, nor others can see it easily and we are used to guarding it with several layers. The frayed uppermost layer faces the changing winds first (and perhaps that is why it gets frayed) but for the individial to change, the core must change. And the core would not change unless each layer is affected, changes and allows the changing winds to reach the core. That is is why change is not just hard but also takes time. But as the other comments suggest, external environment, compulsions make change an imperative so the outer layers may change faster and that would bring a change in the behaviour but for the beliefs to change the core has to be touched. Does this make any sense?

By: Prasanna

Prasanna — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:29:57 +0000

Change as a result of circumstances is understandable, since you have no other choice. But when it comes to the case of comparisons, even if you know that you will do better if you change some facets in ur life, you would still feel reluctant to move out of your comfort zone. It’s people who are willing to move out of the ‘zone’, who can accept change.

By: Thejesh GN

Thejesh GN — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 10:11:56 +0000

@Prats : Yes. Insecurities and scared of being judged/categorized plays a major part.

By: Prats

Prats — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:16:31 +0000

I guess we are scared of change for the fear of getting worse not better .. And abt others, we are more scared coz we fear they might move away from us or will lose the existing bond after the change ! Its all about your fears and insecurities that stop you from changing .. A fear of new challenges/problems dsnt let u leave ur current job, fear of being ridiculed by ur frnds dsnt let u change ur habits and so on .. thats wen u r not sure where the change will lead u .. but if u r not changing from bad to good things, u r just being lazy and reckless with your life !