Being open online and ending relationship gracefully
I met both Tara and Chris @ BarcampBangalore 1 (yeah the first one to happen in Bangalore, in fact in India and the venue was Y!). Both of them were very friendly.They were very passionate about their work and their life. I still remember having a long conversation with Chris about microformats.
Few months back they ended their relationship. Both were very bold, open and very graceful about ending their romantic relationship. Both Chris and Tara blogged about their relationship and the transition happening in their life.
All I could do was to offer hugs to them on their blogs. And be surprised how open and graceful they were.
Why now?
Two of my friends almost reached the edge of their relationship and they weren't that graceful. They removed each other from friends list, gtalk and what not..before coming back again.
Questions:
1. Should we be really open about our life and relationship online?
2. Why cant everybody be like Chris and Tara ( I mean be as graceful as them)?
Being open about relationship is not what we usually do in this country. We hesitate to accept our first crush, we rarely have the courage to ask someone out on a date, forget about proposals.
May be it is in our culture. But things are changing. Dating, relationships and breakups are becoming common in metros and cosmos. But the hinterland still lies in darkness.
Being open about life is left to once philosophy of leading life! I don’t think anything is mandatory here… You may want to blog about the kinda of sex you had, the number of times you shagged. It is left to the blogger to blog about it and it is the prerogative of the readers to infer whatever they want from it.
But there is a lot of difference in being not open about something and being a hypocrite. Indians fall into the latter category.
If both people are reasonable enough to end things in a ‘good way’, then like Chris and Tara those people won’t have a problem. It happens when one person in the couple takes it badly. Then the accusations start. It depends on individuals whether they want to end things badly or not. It’s not easy to end things in a graceful way. Much more easier said than done.
@CS Sharada Prasad : “But there is a lot of difference in being not open about something and being a hypocrite. Indians fall into the latter category.”
I agree.
I have seen people commenting about how much Nano will pollute air or create traffic jam. That too from a guy who drives CRV, all alone, on hosur road, with ac on.
@Dhanya : Personally never faced a breakup so not sure how bad it is. But I am making myself a promise when I face such a situation, I will be graceful.
thejesh, if the decision to end the relationship is not mutual, it can be painful. also people generally say that the best way to forget someone is to completely stay away (i am not sure abt that, but many think so). one more issue cud be that ur new partner may not be so comfortable with u keeping in touch with ur ex :) … so, its not completely in ur hand to make it graceful
I have been through a break-up and that also didn’t went well. It happened even after we got engaged and used to chat daily. However, something happened with her and she decided to part ways. It was not my decision so I felt pain but she was happy and she is now. I didn’t hated that he parted ways, but the way she and her family said wrong thing about me after the break-up. I even stayed away from everything I liked, blogging, reading, watching movies, etc.
I never had expected the end of such a beautiful relationship would be so sour. But it happened and I couldn’t do anything about it.
The point I want to make is you just can’t do anything about it. If it is bound to happen that way it will happen. Destiny plays an important role.
Well, as long as they are graceful towards the other partner , then that should be sufficient. They can intimate few of close personal friends in person, but relationship , either in good shape or abt to end need not be discussed in blogs or any online forums.
Given that, people understand what needs to be said and not only atfer an experience.
Even if it is not mutual decision, being graceful helps.. it can even bring them back together.. really !!!