Minding My Business
Today was my first encounter with moral police, though I wasn't his target—a teenage1 couple in the park2 was. As I entered, I noticed a young couple hugging, maybe even kissing, but I couldn't see clearly as I was not paying much attention. Then I saw a man with a toddler approached them. At first, it looked like a polite conversation, so I ignored it. But then he started yelling: "Go home!" “maa bap nahi hai kya?” and “chutiya log”
I usually mind my business, but his tone and choice of words bothered me, so I stepped in:
Me: "Why are you shouting at kids?"
He: "Did you see what they were doing?"
Me: "Kissing?"
He: "It's bad for your kid to see as well."
Me: "I wouldn't use those words in front of a toddler."
He, irritated: "I'm not talking to you."
Me: "Well, we are all strangers here."
He, fuming: "Calm down."
Me: "I'm not the one shouting at kids."
Him, louder: "Mind your own business."
I couldn't help but smile: "If you had, I would've."
He turned and left with his toddler.
I'm generally non-confrontational and avoid public arguments3, but I couldn't hold back this time. Part of my Bangalorean/Kannadiga heart broke a bit today :(
What would you have done?
This is specifically to the guy-
I’d have said:
“Let me tell you an interesting fact.
It’s allowed by law in India to kiss/pda in public, but not in Pakistan.”
Tone is obviously mildly sarcastic but it’ll definitely make him feel that he’s wrong/out of place to comment that way.
I avoid sarcasm in real life. It has failed badly previously :)
I had the same experience a long time back in Kochi. We had the whole chumbana samaram (kiss of love protest) as a response to such bullying. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Kiss_of_Love_protest
I remember that.
Wish I had this courage to just politely stand against such moral police :)
My level of frustration with public behaviour of Indians and especially seniors feeling that it is okay to transgress even in matters and spaces that they clearly known is none of their business, is at an all time high. I would have intervened just like you, and perhaps with a bit more of anger to ask him to back off. I have been doing that offlate. Invariably, it turns into heated arguments and faceoffs. But the counter voice must be raised. Otherwise even the little chance of curbing it will not exist.
Completely agree. Somehow, people feel like they own public spaces and can impose their own rules on others.
As I am hardened by my experience growing up in Boston, I would have just ignored it and moved on… as I have done in similar situations in the past. If it had escalated to a physical altercation, I would have called the police.
Sadly we have come as a society where general respect has been thrown out. We all come from different backgrounds and experiences, and sometimes letting something be is the best approach.
mp/m