Be Nice

Be Nice to everyone is the first thing I say to every team member I have worked with, professionally or personally, so much so that it is part of the code of conduct at DataMeet and other places. But as I meet more folks, I see that people think being nice is a weakness and never gets work done. It's not true in my experience. I believe not being nice to each other means there are assholes in the surroundings. And they drag down the team. I strictly follow the No Asshole Rule and avoid them at all costs. 

Kindest folks I know

Two tests are specified for recognition of the asshole:

  •  After encountering the person, do people feel oppressed, humiliated, or otherwise worse about themselves?
  •  Does the person target people who are less powerful?

Their unpleasant behaviors were catalogued by Sutton as The Dirty Dozen:

  • Insults
  • Personal space violation
  • Unsolicited touching
  • Threats
  • Sarcasm
  • Flames
  • Humiliation
  • Shaming
  • Interruption
  • Backbiting
  • Glaring
  • Snubbing
No Asshole Rule

You would see me discussing this repeatedly, sometimes to the extent that I end up boring people, but this is so important to me that I am okay with doing it.

Whatever work a team does, if the team members are not nice people, then it's not worth working with or for them. The same applies to hiring.

I also don't believe nice people end up last. It's just a reason folks give for being an asshole.

Next time you meet me, you can ask me about it. In the meantime, be nice.

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1 Response

  1. April 23, 2024

    […] Be nice, Which is the most important rule. […]